Shulou(Shulou.com)11/24 Report--

Thanks to CTOnews.com netizens for the clue delivery of the holy Buddha! This article comes from the official account of Wechat: SF Chinese (ID:kexuejiaodian), author: SF

Have you ever deliberately not reviewed before the exam, or deliberately not prepared before the work report? Have you ever deliberately ignored your friends when you got along well with them, or deliberately created conflicts when you were in love with your lover? If so, you may be a self-handicapper. So why do people take this approach? How to get rid of the bad habit of self-handicapping?

(Christian Jarrett / tr. by Phil Newell)

Translation | Happy

Editor | Chen Qiang

The original article is published in Science focus 2023.09.

Self-handicapping, also known as "self-handicapping" in psychology, refers to people deliberately doing things that they know are disadvantageous to them in their studies, work, sports or interpersonal relationships.

For example, deliberately not preparing for a work report, or not training near a running race, or someone who deliberately ignores messages from friends, even if they have a good relationship. Such behavior may seem strange and even give people the impression that they are giving up. But research shows that self-handicapping also has logic and logic: people often use this seemingly contradictory way to protect their self-esteem and ease their fear of failure or laziness.

Self-handicapping is a means of protecting self-esteem. Take work reporting as an example. If you deliberately do not make any preparations, the results of the report is very bad, at this time, you can blame the failure on the lack of preparation, without doubt about your personal abilities. By the same token, when you are at the bottom of a running race, you can use lack of serious training as an excuse to ignore the humiliating result and laugh it off.

As for ignoring your friends' messages, although your relationship is still going well, when they decide to break up with you, you can attribute the breakup to that you don't care enough about them, not because they don't like you anymore. or they have better friends. Obviously, the former is easier for you to accept.

In short, self-handicapping has become a means of protecting self-esteem by inventing perfect excuses for failures and setbacks. People who are afraid of failure and lack of self-confidence are more likely to adopt self-handicapping practices. In the short term, self-handicapping may even improve your self-feeling and maintain your image in the eyes of others. However, this approach is not desirable, because in the long run, self-handicapping will only increase your chances of failure and frustration.

If you really want to do a good work report, the best way is to be well prepared; if you want to win the game, you should train carefully; and for important friends, you should never ignore the messages they send you and don't make them feel uneasy.

How to get rid of the habit of self-handicapping? If you have developed the habit of self-handicapping, it will take time to get rid of it. In the process, you can try some relatively healthier methods.

For example, what we often call "mindset adjustment" is an effective tool-you can see the challenges in life as opportunities for learning and progress, rather than as a test of your ability or the value of your existence. Whether it's a work report or a running race, you should do your best. If the result is not perfect, think about how to improve it so that you can do better next time.

Another useful way is to practice self-care, treat yourself like a close friend or relative, and you need to realize that your worth is not determined by the opinions of others or the results of a relationship. For example, in a deep relationship with a lover, try to accept the feeling of worrying about gain and loss, and remind yourself that even if the relationship ends one day, it doesn't mean you are hopeless or unloved.

In short, self-handicapping is a kind of behavior that is not conducive to personal growth and happiness. We should try our best to avoid it and choose a more positive and healthy way to deal with difficulties and challenges in life. Only in this way can we really improve our ability and self-confidence and enjoy a better life.

Welcome to subscribe "Shulou Technology Information " to get latest news, interesting things and hot topics in the IT industry, and controls the hottest and latest Internet news, technology news and IT industry trends.