Shulou(Shulou.com)11/24 Report--

This article comes from the official account of Wechat: ID:chuappgame, author: Zhu Siqi

All the good things in the world that have not had time to try are the meaning of continuing to live.

In her own words, the most thing she does in her life is waiting.

When she woke up in the morning, she had to wait for her mother to pick her up from bed and change her clothes and shoes. When she eats, she has to wait for someone else to feed the food to her mouth. If she wants to go out, she has to wait for someone else to make time for her mother or friend to carry her down the stairs and put her in a wheelchair. The wheelchair is "fully autopilot", but "consumes one friend every 100 kilometers".

From the age of 3, A Meow's parents found something wrong with her. Other children can carry their own bowls to eat, her hands seem to be weak, the bowl is always held in both hands; other children run around, she always stumbles when she walks. Her parents took her to the hospital, and the doctor diagnosed her and prescribed medicine, but it meant the beginning of more trouble-she was misdiagnosed and her condition got worse. The bones are irrevocably deformed and the limbs cannot move.

Later, her parents divorced and she lived with her mother until now.

But in the game, Meow seldom waits. Many people first knew her when they saw her play "forever" in live broadcasts and slices. It is a swordsman version of "chicken eating" game, the battle is all about game and precision. Her character is like a real martial arts master, playing back and forth with other players. Her own state is almost always high-spirited. At a disadvantage, she shouted, "then meet the difficulties" and rushed forward.

Ah Meow's performance in the game makes many players feel ashamed. In the camera picture in the lower right corner of the studio, she operates with a chopstick in her mouth and moves the chopsticks to various positions on the keyboard quickly and accurately by turning her head. This surprised the audience, and many people said, "play better than me."

Now, A Meow is a full-time game anchor with more than 200,000 followers on Douyin.

In addition to the mobile goodwill of playing games with chopsticks, A Meow's comment area is also impressive. It seems to be a small gathering place of sentient beings. Some people talk about the bitterness of divorce; some people have the same physical inconvenience as her and find resonance in the video; others happen to be at the bottom of their life, complaining a lot about their academic and work troubles.

These kinds of confides always end with similar words. After seeing her video, they felt that "they have no reason not to stick to it", as if they could break free from any kind of shackles. Some people will also sigh and say, "I'm not as good as you, and I look more like a loser."

"Don't talk about yourself like that!" Meow's response is always clear and positive.

Ah Meow said that the original intention of sending the video is to help others. This sounds somewhat surprising-not because of A Meow's own condition, but because it is rare to be able to give such a simple reason without hesitation.

When Ameo told the story, the first thing she mentioned was the tragedies she saw on the Internet. Meow's daily activity space is only as big as a bed to a desk. Most of the time, she contacts the outside world through the Internet, and her work is also through the Internet. She has studied video editing, tried dubbing and worked as customer service. In the process, she saw many young people give up their lives. Even if she withdrew her attention from the online world, there was similar bad news very close to her home. Just a few days before I got in touch with A Meow, four young people made an appointment to jump off the cliff of Tianmen Mountain in Zhangjiajie, causing an uproar in the country.

Meow said that she did not want to speculate too much on the reasons why these people committed suicide, but it was a pity: "they are all so young."... some even after 00. " In a sense, A Meow understands them very well, "I have experienced that kind of dark time myself."... and there is no one to comfort you, no one to save you, no one can give you a hand, that feeling is really helpless, very helpless. "

Contrary to what she showed on the live broadcast, A Meow told me that she was not confident and even self-abased in her bones. It took her a long time to think about it before she plucked up her courage to start posting videos. She feels that exposing her life to others is already a big challenge, and showing off her situation may in itself bring unhappiness to others. When bilibili uploaded her first video, she wrote in her profile: "if you make a video for the first time, please forgive me if it causes discomfort." Even if showing that your daily life is not something to apologize for, those difficulties and efforts are real.

Meow mentioned her past experience of being ignored and maliciously treated, but didn't want me to write about it. The face she presents to everyone today, including caution, apprehension, self-encouragement and encouragement to others, is the result of the convergence of all past experiences. Even if she finally made it through that period, A Meow felt that she was "like pickled vegetables." No matter how strong the heart is, the idea that I feel so incompetent and ugly from time to time always lingers.

"I always face those things alone and often cry alone." Ah Meow said, "then I felt boring and cried dry. What's the point of crying?"

At that time, no one became her lifesaver, and she persisted entirely on her own. Therefore, A Meow wants to be the straw for others: "it would be nice if someone saw me when they were very sad and could give them a little comfort and some courage."

But even now, in the face of the words of thanks in the comments section, A Meow will not say that she has really helped anyone, and she feels "a little arrogant". Because in the process of sending a video and opening a live broadcast, she felt that she had received the same amount of goodwill feedback. The empathy, praise and encouragement in the comments made her feel happy and dared to show herself more. "my fans are very good." "someone even went to the alarm clock to watch my live broadcast," A Meow said. "I feel quite moved."

Some people praised Ameiza's beautiful ponytail, but she was very happy that there were people who said that she was "selling badly" to win sympathy, while others found out her game record, saying that she was playing a man-machine bureau. "in fact, they specialize in picking my trumpet for solo platoon, and they don't even look at my main account. Just looking for reasons to deny everything about me." Meow is very angry.

Fortunately, people who like her will spontaneously form bastions of goodwill. The housekeeper in the live broadcast room was afraid that she was in a bad state of mind, and once she found an unfriendly audience, he would help her "fork it out" as soon as possible. There is also a mysterious "Knights" in A Meow's comment area. "I inspected around and found that there were no 'sunspots' in the comment area. I was satisfied to leave." Different people will leave such reports at different times.

"what a pity." Someone will say on live barrage.

"I'm not pathetic!" Meow immediately raised her voice. "there are so many people who like me, how can I be pitiful?"

What can change, if you want to change, as an anchor, the game has a lot of meaning for A Meow. She prefers to talk about spiritual meaning, because this part carries freedom, friendship and happiness, which are the happy things that people think of when they talk about games.

Before becoming a game anchor, A Meow did some other online work, so she made some friends online. They want to make her feel better, relax more, and take her into the pit of "Genting Game" and "Operation Wilderness".

Meow didn't know much about games before. First, they are afraid of accidentally indulging, they will not be able to bear it for a long time; second, they are afraid that they can not play well and drag others down. But her friends promised to take her, and they didn't care how she played. Usually everyone "gang up" and chat together, which makes Ah Meow feel very happy.

For A Meow, playing games with chopsticks does not require special practice. "just get used to it." Since childhood, she has been able to do everything skillfully with a pencil in her mouth. Not only is she basic enough to type, but she also liked to draw for a period of time, drawing a lot in the book. Later, because the pencil has sawdust, it is easy to prick the mouth, and it is not very sanitary, so now it has been replaced by chopsticks. She can also use chopsticks to control the wheelchair to walk down the street.

Ah Meow likes to draw girls in dresses. Later, A Meow came into contact with "forever robbing forever" and was immediately attracted by the valiant, martial arts-style movements. She felt that the fight was very refreshing. It can run automatically in the game, which clears a big threshold for her in operation.

"in fact, being able to run freely in the game is a good experience for me." Ah Meow said. She is not afraid to fight, can see live players, can go up and fight with them, pull, very interesting.

I chatted with her and said that I was not very bold in the game and didn't dare to be straight with others.

"Don't be a pussy!" She told me that her tone was as firm as in the live broadcast. "the more pussy you are, the more you squat and don't move, the less you will fight!"

But just like there is always another side to a coin, spiritual happiness cannot make real problems disappear. Meow devoted himself to the game, of course, there are practical considerations.

At the end of 2021, A Meow planned to shoot a video, and in mid-2022, her popularity in the live studio began to stabilize. Meow admits that this is not entirely out of love with the game: "I need to save money."

Meow doesn't talk much about the situation at home on the live broadcast, but she doesn't particularly hide that she wants to subsidize her family in this way. Earlier, a large domestic factory visited her and gave her a computer and a matching keyboard and mouse. Netizens thought it was hard for her to hold chopsticks and offered advice, saying that she could contact people in similar situations, such as Zhu Mingjun, a former firefighter who also played games with her mouth, and might be able to customize a similar device. A Meow himself knows some anchors of "broken Friends" and often communicates with each other.

"however, our situation is actually quite different." Ah Meow said. On the one hand, advanced auxiliary equipment is expensive and not affordable for every family. In addition, the main way for other anchors to control the game with their mouths is to blow, which is not suitable for A Meow's physical condition. "my breath is not very good. I can't blow."

Meow will try to control the wheelchair with chopsticks, but it's not particularly safe. Of all the concerns and inquiries from others, there is only one question that Meow particularly resists.

"sometimes people will ask me, my mother is also old, what are you going to do in the future? that's what I'm tired of being mentioned." She said. But she knew from the bottom of her heart that this was reality and something she had to consider. "I'll be alone in the future, and I can't rely on anyone. Do you understand this feeling?"

"do you understand?" Seeing that I didn't answer, she asked again.

No one dares to easily say that they understand the situation. At present, A Meow's live schedule is quite stable, but the income is still far from ensuring that she can live alone. Meow asked her mother to save all the money she earned. "I don't spend much money usually. It's impossible to earn a little and spend a little."

I thought her financial burden included the cost of daily treatment. Unexpectedly, A Meow told me that even if the disease was still developing, she had not been to the hospital for a long time. It's not just the hospital, she hasn't left the house for a long time. "when you go out, you have to go up and down the stairs. My mother can't move me now, and she's not in good health." "I'm also afraid of going to the hospital to find out something," she said. "if I want to be hospitalized, my mother can't stand it alone. I don't have that much money to see a doctor now."

Although shining days inevitably mention heavy topics, A Meow still talks about happy and shining moments in life most of the time. She likes reading comics and animations and recommends her favorite "hundred demons" to me. Animation is a unit drama, each episode tells a spiritual doctor to treat monsters, so as to understand the story of their lives. "it's a bit like the account of Xia Mu Friends, but it's not so cured, it's very heart-wrenching." Meow described to me, "some stories are sad, but they are true. You must go and see them!"

As can be seen from all kinds of sharing, Meow likes to take pictures. "how do you know I like it?" Her tone flared up at the mention of this. Every time she had a chance to go out, she would instruct her colleagues to help her take pictures with her mobile phone. "the camera goes up a little bit. Move this way a little bit." A perfect scene is thus frozen.

Meow said that as long as she is still taking pictures, she still loves to live outside live streaming and slicing, and occasionally updates her daily videos. She likes her friends to take her out for a walk, go shopping, eat spicy kebabs, and do everything that looks ordinary but very happy. However, when she had to stop and rest after walking for a while in the street, or waiting for people to help her overcome insurmountable obstacles such as steps and flyovers, those thoughts would come back and make her think about the meaning of her life.

Fortunately, she can always take care of herself and for all the people who watch her videos and expect power from them:

"those who choose to continue to love and believe you, the scenery they have not seen, the delicious food they have not tasted, and all the good things in the world that have not had time to try are the meaning of continuing to live."

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